family

when i was a little girl i remember the most peaceful feeling always washed over me on our long family car drives we took to go camping. (there was always a lot of bickering, loudness, giggles, games, etc) but there would always come a moment- my parents holding hands in the front seat. my sisters asleep beside me. stars out in the sky. a quiet peace. i felt safe. we were all together in one place. just us. our family. i felt warmth and comfort.  the five of us squeezed. family. that same peaceful feeling washes over me in moments with my boys, dave, caleb and lucas. when we are all driving in the car together. when the four of us are sprawled out on beach sand listening to waves. when their warmth touches me close. dave's sure hand in mine.  i feel completely safe. 

 

i love these moments. moments watching, moments holding, moments cherishing. i feel so blessed.

i once asked my sisters if they ever got that feeling? i'm not really sure how even to put it to words....that heart squeeze moment? that bottle it up forever memory? i get them a lot, but this one- it is hard to put into words. safety, peace, comfort, happiness, family. 

my heart quiets in these moments. i breathe deep. i know that right now. this. these three people. they are my world. and I am right where I should be. I feel Him most here. Our special place- where waves crash and sea breeze smells sweet.

memories. they are created here. traditions. they begin here. moments. fill up this place.

laughter and love. wash over me  

gratitude

family 

It was a nice relaxing weekend. Plans changed when my sister's car gave her trouble and she ended up not being able to make it up :( so we'll take another beach trip with auntie lor hopefully in june.

Hope everyone had a beautiful weekend :)

 capturing spontaneous hand holding on camera. love them.

happy dancing feet for friday

as always. we're doing our friday happy dance :) to happy feet...caleb just can't resist the songs in this movie, his hips just start shaking, i tried to capture on camera but he wouldn't do his speciality hip shake, however i still thought he was getting down so i thought i'd share!

we (well maybe it was more, I) had several wonderful moments today. after our morning yesterday i was ever so grateful for these moments. first off, my morning lark (caleb) slept in till 8:30. let me repeat that, 8:30!!! after several check ins to make sure he was still breathing- i took some deep breaths of gratitude. we've been struggling with later nights and early mornings so this was a huge blessing! he even woke up happy :) i started the day with the urge to run while dave got ready for work (and both boys were still snoozing) and let me just say-it was the best! now i remember why i always worked out in the morning during college. i think there will be a repeat of this. i only did two miles but my running partner wanted to run at 5-so we did 4. which means....i did 6 miles! finally :) now if i can just do that all at once...i'll be good to go! after a bad couple of weeks of slow runs, i feel like i'm getting my groove back :)

moving on....

why not? i was only too happy to oblige to my sweet toddler's wishes to join little bro in the pack in play while i made dinner.

next up. our other wonderful moment occurred in the afternoon. both boys took two hour naps-wait for it- at the exact same time! wonderful i tell ya. but even more wonderful than that is that caleb woke up happy again. singing and dancing. this does not happen often and the wonderfulness of it was not lost on me.

and lastly, we had a dr. visit today for my lil guy who is having a major eczema flare up...it led us to the lab to draw blood. i was in debate as to wait and do it solo but then i thought-why not? we've got this! so lucas sat like a champ on the chair behind me (it was a huge chair) and caleb held on to my body like it was going out of style (he's a cuddle bug through and through) and the sweet lady brought out every elmo thing she could find (whistle! stickers! sunglasses!) she knew just what to say and what to do to make this mama ohhhh sooo appreciative. so much so that i was ready to hug her at the end (and if my mom had been there i have no doubt she would have). i refrained. but she did get a lot of thank yous! and tears were hardly shed (my end included) caleb was so brave! (and so was i). they  drew blood to see what he might be allergic too (food, pollen, etc). so hopefully this helps us narrow down some things. and we got some creams for all the scaly red patches (all over his body) poor guy. if anyone has any suggestions for creams or lotions they use? send them my way please....we've tried aveeno, cetaphyl, aquafor, and nothing seems to help. today i decided to try the 'fancy' expensive stuff...burts bees and california baby (all natural) and i'm hoping this helps keep it controlled because i hate having to use prescription medicine on the boys' skin when it gets bad. i'm also thinking it might be time to get a water softener... i think the hard water isn't helping their skin at all.

the week ended nicely with movie night with the girls. zack efron on the big screen :) the lucky one. it was good, pretty intense! now just looking forward to a day of weeding, reading, playing outside and sun bathing tomorrow while we wait for auntie lor to arrive and then spending a day at the beach (in some cutie outfits grandma and grandpa sent from their trip curacau) pics to come of that! thank you grandma and grandpa.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend! I think it'd be safe to say, I am fully recovered from Thursday. Happy Friday Friends :)

firemen at our doorstep

yes. that is a firetruck at our house. thank you. (and yes the sirens were on). 6:30 am...read on for the humiliating details.

our long day without dad all began at 6 am this morning. Lucas woke up and nursed, went back to sleep (and somehow slept through the series of events i'm about to describe), at 6:15 Caleb stood at his door ready to start the day. I was.not. so i took a long hot shower and resurfaced a little more refreshed. and then- off went the fire alarms. hello morning! they were loud and i was in my skivvies. and it was 6:15 in the morning. hello. so i tried finding clothes, quickly- but all i could muster were some pjs and a t-shirt in my shaken state-so i was going commando- and i ran to check to make sure lucas was okay and i let caleb out of his room and then i went about trying to turn it off-only problem- it wouldn't go off even once i took the battery out (which took a good 10 minutes) with caleb asking 'what's that?' and watching with all the curiosity of a toddler. and poor dave who was well on his way to slo by now, was helpless to help. so- anyway- this is humiliating- but i ended up having to call 911 because i.just.couldn't. figure. it. out. hello. talk about feeling like a major damsel in distress! i explained the situation and they reassured me i had nothing to be embarrassed about (not that that made me feel any less embarrassed) so minutes later in walked every toddler's fantasy i'm sure. sirens on and all! three firemen in their get-up! oh.my.lanta. i wanted to die on the spot. caleb was so excited they were practically tripping over him. he was just watching and following the fellas around as they quickly turned off every.single.one. apparently (good to know for next time) you need to un-hook from the wall. they checked everything out and said the batteries need to be replaced- and that if it happened again when they were replaced-we would probably need to call an electrician because usually when they all go off like that it ends up being an electrical problem (so i guess i'm not the only damsel in distress) and i hope we don't end up needing an electrician. i find it ironic that today of all days. while hubby is away-something like this would happen-to me! my last humiliating incident involved me in my little bitty pj bottoms and tshirt, a trash can, and a hot summer morning of locking myself out as i took trash out to the dump-i ended up being rescued by a gardener who hoisted me up on his shoulders to the balcony to the unlocked second story screen door of our condo. so anyway- that was the start to our day. gladly, the rest of it was happily uneventful. we had a morning playdate with friends and an afternoon playdate. so mama was able to hash out her story a few times-and it made me feel better and slightly less humiliated. and even though sweet babe slept through the entire fire alarm incident- he ended up only napping 30 minutes in the afternoon instead of his usual 2 hours-so i got a total of 30 minutes from 6 am till 8am (because mr. caleb has been way off schedule and taking forever to go to bed at night and waking up way too early, like 8pm-6:30, we'll be working on that,my fault with late naps...). so if you're interested to know how i ended a very long day- it involved comfort food (that being homemade sauce and rigs with Parmesan cheese a plenty) topped off with cheesecake and a little bit of dessert wine. well deserved i think :) good news is hubs had a good day with the interviews and i'm proud of him for working so hard at his job (away at work and here with us) he's pretty amazing. TGIF tomorrow!

activity from a toddler busy bag exchange we had with friends. perfect quiet activity after all the hullabaloo.

and my happy lil guy.

so glad tomorrow is friday!

Happy 8 months Lucas!

It's hard to believe you're almost to your first birthday Lucas! We treasure each moment with you so much and I wish I could go back and re-live every single one! You are such a joy and sweet, sweet baby.

You are so peaceful and content with life. You are always watching and taking in things. You especially love when big brother Caleb is in the room, you face lights up and you let out a squeal and a laugh and just watch and watch him. You are so happy to sit and play with your toys. You are into grabbing everything in sight! (including daddy's glasses) You are sitting, reaching, starting to fall forward onto your knees-floor. You sleep like a dream still. You go down usually by 6 or 6:20, 7 at the latest and this is rare. Then you sleep till 7 or 8 and only wake up to nurse 2 times or 3. Usually around 10 and 3. still swaddled. You take a morning nap around 9 for about an hour to an hour and a half and then another nap in the afternoon with caleb around 1 or 1:30 until 3.  You are eating all veggies, green beans and peas, squash and carrots, and most fruits you've tried, apples, pears, bananas, avocado, you are getting good at chewing (with your gummy mouth) cheerios and puffs and bananas. we are going to try and give you tofu this weekend and start giving you some yogurt and cheeses along with some more finger foods. it has been a slow process, but we're in no hurry. each day with you is so joy filled. you are just such a happy baby! the only times you get upset are when we change your diaper and if we take something away that you are holding (you really cry hard if we do that!) you even wake up happy-which i just love. i love hearing you coo in your crib and then going in and your entire body shakes with delight and you let out a squeal. caleb goes right up and in your face to greet you every morning, you don't mind his hands or loud excited 'hi lucas' you don't mind at all- you just look at us and smile. ready for the day. i wish we could stay forever in each day with you lucas, you truly are an angel baby and we are so blessed to have you in our lives. we love you lucas gregory!

some pics we took with daddy and caleb on 'smile' duty. definitely got some good smile shots :)

big brother wanted to join in

happy 8 months little man! we love you more than you'll ever know.

busy toddler hands and baby giggles

we are half way through the (work) week. this is especially a good thing because dave travels to slo again tomorrow but this time he'll be gone from about 5amish till 9ish. I'll be flying solo all day-but at least the day after  will be Friday (the next day is always harder for me to recover after him being gone all day) An added bonus is that friday night is girls night out with MOMS club so I am looking forward to that! especially after thursday! and-should i mention the movie i've been drooling, i mean, dying to see? we'll be seeing the lucky one. i don't think dave is too sad he'll be missing it.

here are some pics from our day.

morning playtime

busy toddler on water duty
it rained last night, but caleb thought it might be best to make sure the plants were still watered...

he was very diligent. a smile kinda spread big over my face as i watched my little toddler boy, water can in hand, bare toes, and little hard working grunts as he bent over to make sure he watered that flower just so. how can you not love their simple sweetness? i remind myself of this every time he throws a tantrum, they really are little people- just wanting to do big things, great intentions! and-the more opportunity for them to do big things, the prouder they feel. such sweetness.

i love looking out the window to see this-they make my world a better place. filled with a lot of love.

plus, if you haven't noticed...the rain boots are on almost on as much as the diaper-almost.

 

sweetness bottled up in a baby. if only i could bottle up every moment with you lucas. you fill me with a peace i have never known. such pure joy and happiness. i love you so.

chicken balsamic from all recipes-it was delish. a repeater (my mom made it when she was up last time) but all the same, i get tired of chicken recipes but this one revived me. there is also an amazing pot roast recipe on all recipes that we've now had a couple times. i melt. every time i taste it! yum. i've turned a new page in the dinner department, it actually happens-with variety-on time. more days than not-thank you.rachel ray and for dave's mom for getting me a subscription. i felt so healthy eating this meal. all spring time colorful veggies!

and lastly, our lilac is in bloom! purple it's the little things in life. i just love springtime!

happy half way through the week day :)

oh and...a couple videos of lunch time laughter.

caleb running-and falling (on purpose) lucas thinking it was hilarious (as evidenced by his laughs and wiggles of his toes) these two together. they make us laugh.

caleb wiggling his hands, and again, lucas thinking so silly

and lastly,

just brothers acting silly together

it isn't that exciting, i just love watching the boys' interactions together, so i go a lil pic and video crazy.

 watching these two, and the love they share, it makes everyday worth it, and i am so proud to be their mama.

this last video is of caleb-and his new phrase. 'oh...my gosh!' it cracks me up when he says it because of course he picked up on it from us, which means we especially need to be aware of what we're saying. he's also been saying 'oh my lanta' out of the mouth of babes.

park swings and confessions of a swaddle addicted mama

 swinging at the park

the weather is a little confused this week. clouds in the sky, but warm air. we don't mind.  the week has been off to a good start. tantrums are few, hitting and pinching are almost non-existent thank goodness. just two happy boys, which always makes a happy mama. in case anyone was wondering about the swaddle-it went- for about 6 hours (lucas waking up about every hour or so) so at 12:30 sunday night when I went in to nurse him I caved, and I put it back on-he slept till 5, nursed, and drifted off to swaddle sleep again till 7:30 (and we were able to get some decent shut eye. (i was just wide-eyed awake from 10:30-12 and it felt like he was waking up a ton!) dave wants to keep trying-so we'll try again....in the meantime I called Wombie and talked to someone. I asked them if they could customize a swaddle for me, one that was a little bigger 25-30lbs. sweet girls said they don't customize but asked for his measurements...turns out they have XLong swaddles on clearance-sooo.....I got another one. Which obviously doesn't solve the problem of getting lucas out of the swaddle-but it does buy us some more great sleep time! Obviously I can't deal- i'm working on it. Last night in his swaddle-he only woke up at 10 and 3 in the 13 hours of nighttime sleep- and i'm just saying why mess up a good sleep thing? I just can't go there right now- so we'll try again soon, really soon. He's not rolling over in his swaddle-so we've got time still. i'm obviously suffering from swaddle withdrawls, do they have classes for this? this letting go thing?! i.need.help. seriously.

oh how i heart you wombie swaddle! you have made our lives all the better in the land of nod.

and one of my favorite authors, jodi picolt, has out a new book, which i have been waiting to read, we went to the library yesterday and there it was, all bright and shiny on the shelf!

can't wait to start reading it! she usually writes about controversial issues and then gives you several points of views through the main characters. i love it, when i lived in la i read all of her books! she wrote my sister's keeper which is now a movie. I actually don't even know what this one is about yet...but if she wrote it, i know it'll be a good read :) .

toddler fashion in true form.

chunky baby arms and hands. love.

Happy Tuesday :)

scents from my childhood

you remember those things. homemade Italian sauce in Nani and Poppy's kitchen every time we walked through the door, a hug and a kiss from them. you remember.
Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin playing, Poppy's deep voice singing an Italian song.
Stories of my poppy's childhood. his little brother and two sisters, reading books. you remember.
Brownies, Popsicles, outside hide and seek, card games, popcorn, Poppy's warm lap in his big chair.
hugs and kisses and always feeling loved. i remember.
Last night i dreamed of nani and poppy. it doesn't happen often anymore, but when it does i go through my days feeling them close. remembering their voices and and happy sounds. laughter and big warm hands. i remember my childhood. it's funny that i remember so much of it at nani and poppy's house... they lived ten minutes away, so we were there all the time. my sisters, my cousin and I. sweet childhood memories.

homemade pasta was on the menu for tonight. with my sweet dream fresh on my mind and in my heart, i went to work with memories today. the boys and i danced to Italian music, I sprinkled the seasoning with remembrance, I inhaled scents of my childhood with a smile on my lips and a prayer whispered for my boys. That they'll have these memories too....memories with grandma and grandpa at the farm, memories of baking in the kitchen, grandma's breakfast bread, caleb's favorite, memories of nani preparing an Italian meal, sweet scents filling the kitchen, memories on grandpa's lap watching Disney movies, and papa's lap in his special chair watching movies together, memories of picking beans at the farm come summer time, memories of nani's hugs and grandma's kisses. memories of trips to visit family, camping with cousins, holidays shared, and moments gathered. they'll have these memories too.

 sunday dinner at nani and poppy's

 my earliest memories are on poppy's lap in his big chair

 nani's laugh. it filled the room and bubbled over, my sister laura has this laugh.

 love gathered close.

 below is a picture of dave with his grandparents. i went digging for both of us, i couldn't find much, which means next time i'm home i'll have to go digging for some more, and next time i'm at dave's parents i'll have to get some more of dave with his steinkamp grandparents. i don't have any here with my grammy either. but these few that i do have brought back wonderful memories!

first moments shared. (dave with grandma and grandpa giles)

I love witnessing the moments shared that will turn into memories remembered.

~today's moments are tomorrow's memories. -unknown

Happy Monday all ;)

weekend in snapshots

we had another restful weekend. The weather was just beautiful! High seventy degrees at the beach :) just perfect. We met up with some college friends. Gwyn and her boy Becko and Katie. Gwyn took a family photo for us :) I love how blue the water looks in the background. I can pretend we were in Hawaii ;) This was a new beach for us, it was nice because there weren't huge waves so the boys could play near the water a little better. Below are some pics from our weekend.

New Brighton State Beach

Gwyn and Becko (and maggie)

feeling the waves on bare toes.

Sitting on the grass after mass (matching outfits from Grandma and Grandpa for Easter.) I just love them! Perfect for the warm weather we've been having and I love polos on little boys.

Lucas laughing after church. It is first communion time-and I was teary eyed, there was a little boy in a tux-and I thought oh boy that'll be our boys in a few years- and so of course, the water-works started.

poolside

we finally fit a bigger pool in our bigger car :) they were all out of the really big ones, so it is still kinda small, but way bigger than our other one. i was beyond excited! Caleb was too. He was sooo excited he stripped off his clothes...down to his bare bum, and sprawled out in the pool and kept telling us he was 'swimming in my pool' and he was blowing bubbles and going face down in the water to get his hair wet. I asked dave, "is this our child" our cautious child who usually dips a toe in our baby pool before saying 'all done'? And he never strips! I thought it was hilarious. Now, everyday he wants to fill up his pool with the hose. Can't wait for warm summer days with both boys splashing in the water :)

the only way caleb's been convinced to go on our walk is to go on his bike. so for friday walking and coffee at Starbucks with MOMS club he rode his bike, for almost an hour. it was nice because that afternoon he slept for almost 3 hours. I had to wake him up so he'd go to bed that night!

this is a total random, boys playing on the floor while I wipe up crumbs from lunch :) they were acting silly together and lucas was just loving caleb's guitar. (notice elmo perched there? joining in the fun)

some more pool time. i had to put this in because i just love those chunky thighs!

brothers poolside.

now for my weekend ramblings :)

saturday night dave and i had a 'date night' in. this consisted of a yummy dinner, boys in bed, and some Muscato wine and cheesecake while we watched We Bought A Zoo. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Just make sure you have some tissue handy! I cried through the entire movie, thankfully I don't think Dave noticed :) It was a sweet, sweet movie. So my point is that we had plans to De-swaddle lucas. They got pushed to tonight. So here goes our first night without swaddling him. (technically he spent a week unswaddled Christmas time in sc, but i don't count that since the aunties were basically putting him to sleep the entire time!). So wish us luck. I'm breathing into a brown bag freaking out that my perfect sleeping angel won't ever sleep good again! And what am i going to do with myself? And oh.my.goodness. can wombie make a special order for us for size 25-30 lbs? and if so, then maybe we can swaddle till lucas is a year and he'll be done nursing then. and then we'll tackle bedtime and nap time issues then? because. i hate change! and he sleeps so good swaddled, i can't imagine he'll sleep good not swaddled...but maybe i should give him the chance? my sweet hubby, said 'kimmy, he's growing up. it is going to be okay' all you have to do is feed him at his usual 9, 1, 5o'clock times and i'll take care of the rest. boy, do i love this guy. he calms me down so much! and he does so much! he's pretty amazing. but-i'm still going to go breathe into a brown bag.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend :)