Home Repairs

we are doing some home repairs.

 most of the weekend was spent sanding and painting our kitchen cabinets

d involved the boys; I always love watching him at work. Even with two under foot he still manages to get them involved and feeling proud.

 The boys played with bikes, cars, lawn mowers, and made trailers out of paint rollers. D let Caleb paint on a spare piece of wood he had. Caleb kept saying "I'm working so hard!!"

 

Lucas watered the plants; a favorite outside activity of his

 I am finally feeling more normal; that is, I still threw up a couple times last week and def. still get nauseous but I'm no longer in survival mode. I've made dinner several times now and that's been nice. I can finally be in the kitchen without having to run to the bathroom. I finally got a long lasting energy spurt that lasted from Friday night (hi. organizing Tupperware at 2am in the morning!) and continued through Saturday from 7am-2pm when we left for a knights of Columbus BBQ. My cleaning attack carried me through three closets, the entire kitchen including cupboards and counter tops (scrubbing and organizing), three bedrooms and the garage. Sunday, I rested. It felt heavenly to clean and scrub and organize after being so sick these past couple months. The quiet house at midnight on Friday was just so relaxing. I didn't feel bad being totally absorbed in my cleaning spree because the boys slept and d drank a glass of wine and kept me company. I'm sure I won't be staying up till 2 am anytime soon (unless I have another cleaning spree) because I'm normally a 10:00pm bedtime girl. The highlight of the night were some midnight texts to my mom and sister (my sister is a major night owl) and giggles over the Tupperware I spent an hour organizing after my mom's last visit up when she saw the demise of Tupperware disarray. Of course, our paint touch ups we did early in the week all around the house and just off the press scrubbed chairs and clean windows and sliding doors didn't last but a day with two happy and muddy little boys; but that is okay :) sometimes it feels good just to know they were clean for a couple hours.

we will be painting the cabinets white (I feel brave doing this. But after trying out several paint samples with various 'colors' on the cabinets and after talking to two of my friends who have white painted cabinets they did themselves, I felt pretty confident that white would make our kitchen more open and welcoming and that they will be easier to clean than our cupboards now...the green, blue, and red we tried out looked horrendous! And I am so bad at decorating that I got completely overwhelmed. My running friend who painted hers and let us use their sanding supplies really thought the white would look good and I would be happy with it as she loves having white.) When we tested out the white with our new wall color I felt as though it finally looked fresh and clean in our kitchen! I can't wait to see our final product.

and a few other pictures from last week...

 two silly monkeys jumping on the bed.

 hanging with roo

 an early morning sunrise

the magic of childhood. trains, games, friends, and brothers.

I'll love you forever.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my babies you'll be" Love you Forever by Robert Munsch

"Sometimes when you're different you just need a different tune" Giraffes Can't Dance by Giles Andreae and Illustrated by Guy Parker Rees

"Everything makes music if you really want it to" Giraffes Can't Dance by Giles Andreae and Illustrated by Guy Parker Rees

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."' The Velveteen Rabbit  by Margery Williams
Illustrations by William Nicholson

I love children's books. I love reading my childhood favorites to the boys before we tuck them in bed for the night. The Runaway Bunny. I'll Love you Forever. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Good Night Moon. Where The Wild Things Are. And so many more...ones we haven't read yet; my little girl favorites, The Giving Tree (Poppy always read that to my sisters and I) The Very Quiet Cricket (oh how I loved this one) and so many more...

And then there are new stories we find and read. Giraffes Can't Dance. The Very Busy Spider. You Are My I Love You. And maybe, just maybe, years from now the boys will read these stories, and new stories too, tucking in their babies before bed just like their mama and daddy do for them right now.

Here is our current favorite...

Here's Amazon's review on this great children's storybook. I love how Gerald finds his own tune to dance to. It's a really sweet story and I love reading this book to the boys.

Overview

"Gerald the giraffe longs to dance, but his legs are too skinny and his neck is too long. His knees buckle whenever he tries to twirl. At the Jungle Dance, the warthogs waltz, the chimps cha-cha, and the lions tango. "Giraffes can't dance," they all jeer when it's Gerald's turn to prance. But there is one little creature who believes in Gerald. "Everything makes music," the cricket explains, "if you really want it to." So Gerald starts swaying to his own sweet tune.

With light-footed rhymes and high-stepping illustrations, this tale is gentle inspiration for every child with dreams of greatness." review found on amazon

What are your childhood storybook favorites?

moments

my sweet helper bees.




link here

Love this prayer for all sons Ann Voskamp shared on her blog today.



Some thoughts... happy moments and hard moments....

loved, a morning spent at home with my little helper bees today; weeding and cleaning. We filled up a water bucket with bubbly soap and two happy boys helped scrub off fuchsia from our white fence (awhile back the boys 'painted' our white fence with fuchsia flowers while we weren't looking :)

d's work company picnic on Saturday morning was a fun family day. the boys loved the art area ( beading and getting their arms spray painted with sailboats; green with green sparkles for caleb and blue with blue sparkles for lucas; they each chose their colors and glitter) and we all enjoyed the food (two helpings of everything for me...it was that good! bbq yum)

the rest of the weekend we did some mini-home repairs....touching up the inside paint on our walls (too much of our walls have found themselves colored by pinks and yellows and greens by two little artists, now the paint looks brand new with a fresh coat of paint). Amazing what a mess two little boys can make. But I love how when I clean off brown dirt all along our sliding door area and crayon marks that are low on the wall, perfect height for a toddler, I smile knowing our house is well lived in- little fingerprints make me happy.

I'm really excited for a  project we will be starting in our kitchen....but I think I'll save the details and post pictures instead once we are done.

There have been a few bumps and hiccups in the past couple days, they've caused the emotional preggo mama to shed some tears; but together D and I pick each other up, we wipe off the dirt, we may feel slightly bruised and surprisingly shoved, but we get back up. We keep going. We count our blessings and Trust. I am grateful for D's strength, for Lucas' joy and happiness that always lifts my heart, for Caleb's sweet tenderness, and , I'm grateful for our friends and family; their support and encouragement.

God didn't promise days without pain laughter without sorrow or sun without rain. But God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and a light for the way, And for all who believe in His kingdom above, He answers their faith with everlasting love. ~ Author Anonymous ~

Happy Friday

I sat down teary eyed for my bible study today. We had a great Skype with my mom and dad. The boys played happily, rough housing, playing together; their brother bond making my heart squeeze just a little bit tighter. I love them so. My heart ached slightly as it always does when we have to Skype with our family instead of just living close enough to go over any time; but I'm so thankful we are able to Skype. That the boys can see their grandparents and aunties and uncles. I tucked the boys in for naps after a busy but blessed morning at home; baking, cleaning, preparing homemade pasta sauce for dear family friends of ours who have a sweet baby girl in their care with the hope that they will eventually be able to adopt her. But, as I tucked C in, he lost his happy face and turned sad. Bedtime and naptime sleep struggles is not something new with him. We've been dealing with it for almost four years. Different tricks, different things that we do to help him. My point is that my heart felt heavy as I sat down to do my 'quiet time'. But God knew just what I needed to hear and read. His timing is perfect. I wanted to share (above and below) the two scriptures that really spoke to my heart today. I know I've been sharing a lot lately from my Ruth study; but I like to hold these thoughts and share them as a way to remember and lock up words and moments that I cherish. And this study has really been speaking to my heart. Here are a few passages that I wanted to share...

"And so Naomi returned, and with her Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter-in-law, who returned from the land of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest" (ruth 1:22)

"After all this immense hardship and suffering, we get the slightest glimpse that perhaps God was working something out for Naomi after all- that He had long been working behind the scenes, under the soil, and now His goodness was cropping up just above the ground as the barley harvest was beginning." (Kelly minter Ruth Bible Study)

"with each grain of barley we see opportunity, sustenance, hope, and a reminder that God's timing is perfect."  (KM, Ruth study)

"When God is at work, bitter hopelessness can be the beginning of some surprising good" Hubbard



Update on our sweet lucas. We took him to the allergist yesterday to test him for tree nut allergies. He did great. Happy as a clam of course. The dr. and nurse were amazing with the boys and lucas was hamming it up.

Here's what his back looked like right after they pricked him to test nuts, fish, egg, and environmental allergens. He got uncomfortable when they pricked him and we had to hold his arms for 15 minutes so he wouldn't itch but other than that he did great.

 

I wasn't prepared for the fact that he tested positive for 5 of the 7 tree nut allergies. Cashew and Pistachio being the strongest reaction; brazil nut, pecan, and walnut (walnut was also a bigger reaction). He didn't react to almonds and hazelnut. This means we stay clear of all tree nuts. We read all labels and stay clear of foods that have tree nuts in them and even foods that have been manufactured in labs that make tree nuts. We also need to carry the epi pens with us everywhere and at all times, along with some Benadryl. We need to be careful when eating out making sure the food doesn't have tree nuts in it. Let's just say I am on guard at all times with him around food. I won't soon forget how strongly he reacted with the cashew a few weeks ago when this started and my prayer is that we won't ever have to use the epi pen; and if we do we will need to get him to the ER right away. When they are this little with a strong reaction the next time it happens can be much more severe. Not what a mama wants to hear.

 

 We went out for dinner after and he was happy as can be. Our little joy bird. I'm glad we now know what he is allergic to specifically (he also tested positive for mixed grass and mixed tree allergies.) So now we have all three (between the two boys); Allergies, Asthma, Ezcema (these three tend to run together) I always feared of having a child with asthma and never imagined having one with tree nut allergies. But we take what comes and I'm just grateful for good doctors and good medicine! (And really Caleb's asthma is mild as long as we are proactive and respond quickly he's okay.) Still, a mama's heart hurts watching her babies in any sort of pain or discomfort.

 Last picture. Caleb once he fell asleep this afternoon. Melt my heart. (lil train on top of him and all cuddled up under his 'fort')

 Here's a little clip of the boys while we waited in the room for lucas to have his 'allergy pricks'

Happy Weekend...

looking forward to family time and d's company picnic!

Wanted

You Are Wanted by Dara Maclean

From the day you were born
And took your first breath
You opened your eyes and in came the light
He was watching you
But all of your life you couldn't shake the lies in your head
Saying you're a mistake
Oh but you were made
By a God who knows your name
He doesn't make mistakes

CHORUS
You are wanted
To every broken heart, He stands with open arms
You are wanted
To every searching soul, look to the rising sun
If you're lonely, hurting, gone too far
To the outcast you come as you are
For you, you are wanted, you, you are wanted
You, you are wanted, you, you are wanted

Let this be the day that joy takes the place
Of all of the years that shame tried to steal away
He is calling you
Lift your eyes to see His face
Come run into the arms of grace

CHORUS

You, you have been marked
You're set apart
And He calls you His
So you don't have to search
Don't have to look for where you belong

You are wanted

**Loving this song right now. I love the lyrics and the truth behind them.


Psalms 139:14

Today was the first day of week two in my bible study. I love the honesty of Kelly Minter's words...

Here are some that stand out to me (day1week2kellyminterRuthStudy)
"I believe many Christian women are not nearly this honest with God or themselves" this refers to Naomi's cries of despair "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me" (Ruth 1:20)
"We feel forsaken by God or deep down we are angry or bitter with Him, but we never let ourselves stop long enough to address our feelings with Him.

 She goes on to say "Perhaps we are afraid of what we'll experience when we get there. Maybe we're fearful that we won't hear anything from God, that He'll require something of us we don't want to give, or that we'll learn something about ourselves we don't want to know...regardless of your fears, I invite you to sit before the Lord in the true state of your heart (anger, fear, grief, questions, doubt, numbness,)...God doesn't want our "right answers"; He wants our hearts...."

I love the honesty of this passage. I feel like the song goes along with what I read today and what I have felt at various times in my life. God wants us, he wants us in all our honesty. Through my life I have very clearly seen God's work and have always felt clearly guided by Him. I've felt that I am where I need to be and God has clearly marked the way for me. I have always felt very blessed by this peaceful reassurance of knowing I am where God wants me to be... But sometimes, the little details of my life, leave me feeling frustrated and confused. I have at times questioned God, asking, "why is this situation so hard?", "why do you think I can handle it ?" Can I handle it? But always, when I go to Him with my heavy Heart I feel a peace. He gives us the strength to face whatever challenging circumstance we are going through at the time. He lifts us up and carries us through it.

I was listening to Klove and I love this thought they shared; about the story of when the disciples were in the storm on the boat scared and upset Jesus did not stop the storm for them; instead he reached out his hand to them.

"Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him"  Matthew 14:31

It was only after Peter and Jesus went back into the boat after Peter had walked on water with Jesus, that the wind stopped. When they stepped into the boat the wind stopped. (Matthew 14:32)

Sometimes we are meant to walk through the storm, but we are not alone; God reaches out his Hand to us, He sees us through our storm.


I have found my greatest storms are always my greatest blessings.

daddy's helpers.

I've broken up my posts into three posts below. Some thoughts, some sharing.  Happy Wednesday

tears and prayers.

I want to share some thoughts, hard thoughts to share; things I keep mostly to myself. Whispered prayers. Tears I cry sometimes...

 

 
sweet moment at the park this morning

first this.
yesterday at the dentist. lucas pulled out his pout face during his cleaning. he held it together for most of it until the end, then he burst into tears. caleb rushed to his side, held his hand, and tried to be brave; two pout faces. oh my heart. my sweet caleb. he's the sweetest big brother. always with a strong steady hand to guide lucas. always quick to be at his little brother's side. he amazes me daily with his capacity to love on lucas so greatly.

some hard thoughts to share.
this morning. the car. driving home. it seems as great as c is doing in OT he still struggles when things he wants to control; he can't. any little thing can set him off into a major melt down and both d and I are at a loss of what to do. deep pressure, hugs, doing his home program first thing in the morning,  breaks in his room, keeping calm, not keeping calm, yelling, sometimes even screaming,  moving myself away to avoid totally losing my cool; we've both done and tried everything. I know it is hard when my ever patient husband has to leave the room because his patience has run thin. It breaks my heart. It aches my heart. It leaves me feeling worn out. exhausted. hopeless. despaired. frustrated. angry. sad. if there's an emotion out there, I've felt it. If there's a strategy out there, we've tried it. We know we have all the tools and he's getting all the help he needs. It still leaves us feeling at times completely at a loss of what to do. It is hard to describe and I know family members, friends, strangers. They may look and wonder why are we giving him so much control? It's a fine line to balance and create in our home; letting him feel like he is in control and then the other line, him being in too much control (if he feels out of control it inevitably leads to a melt down; this is just one aspect of our sensory life) . It's hard to not think about what other people think, it's hard not to compare. This is our struggle and through it we've celebrated major victories. I could not and would not appreciate all that he is; bright, sweet, sensitive, empathetic, silly, creative, imaginative, inquisitive, smart, an aptitude for language and music; there's so much more to my sweet firstborn than meets the eye. There's so much more to him than what appears. But sometimes when his body betrays him and he's a puddle of tears and screams on the floor my heart breaks. My mind goes where it shouldn't go. I now know things he's missing out on because he just isn't able to adapt and transition as easily as others. He teaches me, tries me, strengthens me, challenges me in every way. Being his mother is the hardest job I've ever had to do but I wouldn't have it any other way. Our family is complete with my two brother boys and hope that whispers in my belly. He makes us more compassionate, more understanding, more patient, stronger, braver, and wiser. He's taught me what it means to become a mother and continues to teach me. As his mother, I'm braver than I ever thought I could be.  So, while this season we are in brings so many challenges and struggles, sadness and even loneliness, It still brings with it Hope and Love and Joy.
Love you so much sweet Caleb.

baby bump 12 weeks

12 weeks!

How far along?  12 weeks

• Total weight gain: 1 lb

• Maternity clothes?  no. but mostly wearing all dresses and yoga pants

• Stretch marks? No  

• Sleep:  Just waking up to pee

• Best moment this week: not the best; but definitely most memorable. me throwing up at the park ( a first in public ever) lucas coming over and imitating my every move and sound (ahem) and caleb coming over and asking "what's wrong mom" on repeat (until I eventually stopped throwing up long enough to answer him) It was funny if only for the fact that we were the only ones around and I only had an audience of two. Lucas' throw up sounds pretty much topped off the moment.

• Miss Anything? feeling healthy and not nauseous 24/7

• Movement: It's still too early I think; but I swear I started feeling a flutter this weekend; which technically the baby's measuring almost 14 weeks (a week ahead and i'll be 13 weeks in a couple days) so maybe it wasn't just my imagination. Plus they say with later pregnancies you can feel movement as early as 13-14 weeks.

• Food cravings: all fruit. fruit by the foot. and artesian veggie egg sandwichs from starbucks.

• Food aversions: anything with flavor basically; dinner food

• Gender: Not finding out; my guess is boy!

• Labor Signs: No

• Symptoms: still just nauseous and exhausted. but almost done with the first trimester which means only a few more weeks and then hopefully I'll be feeling more normal again

• Belly Button in or out? In

• Wedding rings on or off? On

• Looking forward to:  Not throwing up and being able to eat dinner without wanting to heave!

Feeling awkwardly huge already (trust me, in person and by the end of the day my belly is much more expanded than this early morning picture lets on)

I haven't run in a couple weeks and so I laced up my shoes this afternoon; it felt so good! It was like coming up for air I didn't know I wasn't breathing. Things have been on and off stressful with c (not anything new) but not running regularly has made me realize just how much I missed it and just how much I really need it! It truly is my stress therapy. Getting committed once again on carving out some time for my feet to hit the pavement.

Wherever you go

Last night was the first night of our new study on Ruth. I'm so excited to be studying the book of Ruth. What a remarkable story and what a courageous woman she is. Kelly Minter has a CD to go along with the study; Ruth Loss, Love, and Legacy (by Kelly Minter). I've posted the first song we listened to for session one above. It really brings to life Ruth's story and words.



Here's a little excerpt out of our study on day 5
This famous speech was uttered amidst loss and hardship and in the face of much bitterness....as we close week 1 of studying this phenomenal book, the obvious questions become: Are we so committed to Christ? Will we go where He goes? Stay where He stays? Will His people be our people? His Father our Father?" (p30day5RuthStudyKellyMinter)

Here is an excerpt about the study found on Amazon
Ruth's journey of unbearable loss, redeeming love, and divine legacy comes alive in Kelly Minter's Ruth: Loss, Love and Legacy-the second study in the Living Room Series. This 6-week Bible study delves into the virtuous character of Ruth, her unique relationship with her mother-in-law Naomi, and her blossoming love with Boaz. If you've ever felt devastated, struggled as a stranger, longed to be loved, or wept along the way, you'll find a loyal sister in Ruth. This study includes stories, recipes, a leader guide, interactive Web site extras, and free bonus videos

What I just love is how Ruth is used to show us Christ's love. He came as our Kinsman Redeemer. During this time in the Old Testament there was so much despair and heartache and sin. A famine was happening. They lost everyone they loved. Naomi lost her husband and two sons. Ruth and Orpah lost their husbands. Naomi became very bitter. It took Ruth's humble and unconditional love to change Naomi's heart. Christ comes for us in our times of despair and sin and he redeems us through His powerful, Grace filled love and mercy.

I'm just so excited about this study and feel as though I fall more in love with God and His written word each time I am in the midst of reading and learning; especially with such an awesome group of women in my bible study.

Just wanted to share some of my thoughts on this!

Oregon Grand Finale

All week I've been simmering in sweet Oregon Memories. It was such a wonderful and precious week with family. The last thing I wanted to include from our trip was some video footage we took.

and a repeat of some of my favorite moments...

 

until next time, Oregon...

Oregon Camping Part 5

Our Last Day
We had such a great trip! Here are pictures from our last day there. I wish we were still on vacation!

 caleb's making the funniest cheeser grin in this top pic

 one with both boys smiling!

 Lucas' silly face

another cheeser, just cracks me up!!

 

 

What a fun vacation and we're already missing everyone.

 

I'll hopefully get up some videos soon :)