a skip and a hop kinda friday

Friday. Three day weekend. Warm weather. And nothing but relaxation and family time to do this weekend.

It is a good friday.

 

so in honor of friday here are a couple videos of the boys today.

caleb likes to say his prayers...all through the day...so while I was cleaning up lunch I caught him in the corner with his head down, hands clasped together ever so sweetly, eyes closed, and praying. "Our Father" "Hail Mary" "Glory Be" he only knows bits and pieces but gosh does it melt my heart to hear him pray!

Almost everyday during lunch clean up this is where you'll find lucas....climbing/sitting/chatting/playing...under the table. I'm not sure what the draw is...but he seems to really enjoy himself under there! He likes going up and down on the poles but I didn't catch it on camera....I think we have ourselves a climber.

a couple other random pics from this morning.

 caleb really likes to 'pretend play' he has quite an imagination and spends most of the day using it! on our walk I looked down and he was chatting with tiger giving him some cracker snack.

i tried making play dough today. something went wrong :( i have so many recipe failures! so my goal is to try again  this weekend (when dave's around to make sure i don't mess up again!)...and some other cool stuff. goop, diff. types of play dough texture recipes, etc." i found a great website that had a ton of ideas. I'm feeling inspired in the 'playdough' department.

just signed up for this. my first 1/2 marathon. ever. deep breath. deep breath. and to think i would have laughed out loud had anyone told me i would run more than 1 mile. ever in my life. haha. never say never right?!

colds are lingering. I hope they can clear up and the boys feel good as new for this long weekend. Do you have any fun plans for this weekend?

Happy Friday!!

warm winds and questions that linger.

the warm breeze beckons us on early morning walks this week. backyard playing in the morning. naps and cold air conditioned breaks inside as the temperature climbs through the day.

climbing

                                                                 an early morning walk

frazzled. that's how i've felt this week. two sick little boys with colds. one gets better just as the other wakes up with drip. i've been knee deep in tissues and snot wiping this week. humidifiers hum through the night. vicks pour through my nose. thoughts make my mind confused. no answers. just questions. i try and let go. give them up to Him. Only he can hold my worries in a safe place. I hold close to Dave in the dark night hours. His warmth and strength bring me comfort and peace. How will we do this? How will we make it work? We still have a long road ahead with our sweet first born. An initial evaluation with the school district in October. His ped. endocrinology apt in Sep. The OT consult in mid Sep. I want him to feel better. To not be so tired. All day...'mama, i'm tired. i'm gonna take a nap' "okay baby boy, i say. you rest your head". he's sick with a cold. but i know it is more than that. I hold him close against me and whisper, "I love you always." We are walking, not sure where our steps will lead. I'm trusting...but I'm scared too. What will this journey bring? Where will it take us? I cried big, warm, wet tears yesterday. My mom couldn't hold me and hug me, but the static on the phone and her calm words were enough. "he's going to be fine" "everything will be okay kimmy" and I hiccuped and breathed in her words. His going to be fine, and we are doing everything right. We're getting him the help he needs." Dave called his mom, and she listened with only the wisdom a mother could know. "We're here. and we'll help." These mother bears of ours; so strong and so wise. Protective and caring. I find comfort in their knowledge and their warm wisdom. They've been through twists and turns and winding roads. They found a way...and so will we.

 

 

reflections from our day

first of all. i'm not sure what is going on with my pictures!! so hopefully i can get that figured out soon :)

I wanted to reflect on the day Caleb and I had. My sweet boy. Oh how proud I am of him always. Today we had his OT evaluation. Sweet and wonderful hubby stayed home to watch Lucas so that I could take Caleb alone since the evaluation was from 9-12. I knew I would possibly need to be in there for the eval so it was not do-able with Lucas. Oh how the boys missed each other though! They were so excited to see one another when they reunited. Melt.my.heart. Love them.

The drive over provided just what I needed. Some heavenly wisdom. We were listening to KLOVE  on the radio and they quoted scripture "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22) just what I needed to hear at that moment, for that morning, and for this new step/journey/season we are in. I imagined God holding us gently in his palm. I prayed for my sweet boy that he would feel safe today. I prayed for my heart to be filled with peace. I imagined God being there already, waiting for us. I prayed all through the evaluation as well.

We arrived. I waited outside for part of the time (they prefer to have the child alone but if need be, we can be in there if the child is distressed. She said I could be in or wait outside...so I chose to give Caleb a chance to try doing it without me there beside him) This was the first time Caleb would be alone (without a family member watching him) He pulled out his classic but very real, nervous pout. I don't think I'll forget that pout easily. It broke my heart in a million pieces. I mustered up the biggest smile I could find and tried my hardest to cheerfully say "I'll see you soon!" while inside I was about to fall apart. I then held my breath for about an hour on one side of the door....while Caleb held himself firmly planted to the other side of the door. He never budged. I ended up back in the room and we did the rest of the evaluation (she called me back in the room....since he wouldn't do anything without me) He did fine. She definitely saw areas of need and thought he would benefit from doing therapy. Gross motor, fine motor, muscle tone...which basically is all sensory related. (just like we thought). We have a consultation at the beginning of September. She'll go through everything with us...his needs...treatment...what they'll work on with him, what we can do at home. Basically as they help him by giving him 'sensory input' he will be able to better self regulate and his 'symptoms' (drool, melt downs, gross motor, fine motor struggles, social anxiety, etc.) will improve.

I drove home and I cried. I cried for my sweet baby who is sometimes misunderstood, but who has the most loving family surrounding him. I pray he'll have friends through life who 'get him' his shyness....he sweetness...he gentleness...he sensitivity...and his goofy side too.

I cried for what this will mean...twice a week therapy (30 minutes away)...trying to do this with two little boys who still need naps (as well as their mama)...how lucas will fit in to all this...

I cried for how much this will cost. We have good insurance but the 2x weekly speciality co-pays will add up to a lot each month. And trying to work that into our budget is going to be interesting.

I cried for what it all means....it isn't a clear picture...sensory stuff....muscle tone...gross motor...fine motor....and for all the questions whirling around in my head.

I cried because I was right. There was something more going on than just 'typical toddler tantrums'

But-I also cried in relief. And I then I stopped crying because I knew that God already has this all figured out. He will carry us through this.  I don't need to know everything right now. My questions will be answered in time...tomorrow...next week...next month... I thought about what a blessing it has been to have new friends come into my life...friends who  have already been through this...they have brought me comfort and wisdom. I can already see how God has His hand in all this...and He will continue to hold us through it.

There are so many unknowns...still more questions. More doctor visits. More follow ups. But my mind is at peace.

I feel weak. I feel exhausted. And I know I can't handle it all alone.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) and I'm so glad I don't have to.
 
So this is what we know for now.
Our sweet firstborn is going to be in good hands getting the help he needs.... We are setting him up for success by giving him all the tools necessary to brave the big and sometimes scary world.

And we'll be with him, guiding him and supporting him. Just as He guides us and supports us.

Those are my thoughts and reflections, on our very big day. Nothing but backyard bliss planned for tomorrow with my boys. We need some quiet time to recover and to just be playing silly.

?

hm. where did all my pictures go??

monday mud bath

ever had a mud bath? i'm sure you can imagine what that would look like...but just in case...

 here is what it looks like with a one year old and almost three year old!

i can't say it is a pretty sight. but the 'water bath' that followed and the fresh lotion that was put on...well that was pretty. and we stuck to the inside after that.. mama didn't want a round 2.

lucas is down for the count with a nasty cold :( and just when we were all getting some good sleep at night! i'm glad he is still nursing and hope he recovers quickly. i'm having dejavu to caleb's first birthday party followed by a nasty cold turned croup (let's hope it stays at a cold!)

happy muddy monday :)

birthday celebrations part 2

happy birthday sweet lucas!!

on your very special day we celebrated you and your first year of life. we had a relaxing day with family. here's what we did.

we had a delicious french toast breakfast! pioneer woman recipe found here. mmm. it was so good i'm going to dream about it every single morning for the rest of my life. yum.

 

 next you opened up some presents. caleb got some presents too (for taking such good care of his little brother this year!)

 i think your favorite was the rocking horse uncle craig made you!

 the only person missing here is carlos :( i had a hard time taking pictures of everyone together!

 our beach plans failed (major traffic) so we relaxed and hung out instead. we had a yummy steak dinner and cupcakes for dessert.

 oh, i almost forgot. you got your first 'hair trim' from grandma. just around your ears. mama could only handle so much for one day!

 you were a trooper. and it was nice and relaxing, not too overwhelming for a first birthday.

 i didn't get very many pictures ;( but maybe that's because i was trying so hard to soak you up on your last day of your first year. it was a sweet, sweet year. and i can't wait to watch you continue to grow and learn and explore your world. we love you so very much lucas!!

your one year check-up
31inches (80th percentile for height)
23lbs (60th percentile for weight)

other stuff going on your 12th month:
play-you love playing with everything big brother is playing with! :)
sleep-you are finally sleeping 12-13 hrs at night and nursing only during the day 3x
food- you love everything and eat everything we eat at the table now
we love you so much sweet lucas!!!

one year ago...

you came into the world with a strong cry and were welcomed into a room of smiles and tears as we held you with warm arms and big kisses. you were already so loved. i couldn't stop crying happy tears knowing you were safe and here with us as last.

 it is hard to believe a year has past by. from the first moments you were held in big brother's arms...

 to a year later. he will always protect and hold you safe. this i know. because he loves you so much. the bond you both share is so strong. my brother boys.

 lucas, you made us a family of four. and oh how perfectly you fit.

 i feel as though you've been here all along.

 those sleepy newborn days slipped between my fingers much too quickly. i'd go back and do them all over again if i could. kiss each of your fingers. smell your sweet baby scent. linger over each breath and coo you made. i'd do it all over. such sweetness you are.

 it seems like yesterday...wrapped up and snuggled tight. now you are exploring your world with a happy smile and giggles in your trail as you crawl and stand and test out the world around you.

 i remember our first moments together. i always will. i will hold them in my heart forever. you brought with you peace and calm and happiness. so much joy and love we felt for you in our first moments together. it has only grown stronger. we love you so very much lucas.

 i've cherished each day of your first year.

 and i'll continue to hold my heart still and remember....for each birthday...from your very first birth, your very first birthday celebration, and each one after that....i'll hold my heart still and i'll remember...those first moments together that changed our life...for the very good....so much good.

 our first moments together, all four of us.

 they wrap around my heart like a warm embrace. each celebration, each milestone, each moment we all share together, it makes my heart feel so full. so completely full. a heart squeeze.

 lucas, i hope you'll always know how very much you are loved. how much joy, how much peace, how much happiness you bring to our lives.

 i am blessed to be your mama, to watch you grow, to take joy in your joys. to laugh with you. to cry for you. i never knew my hurt could hurt so much before there was you and your brother. i never knew my heart could spill with so much love and tenderness for my sweet boys.

 being your mama, it is an honor.

happy first birthday little man!

 may this year and every year be as full as the love you have brought to all of us.

 you are always and forever

 our sweet baby boy.

we love you so very much lucas gregory!!!!

 

 

 

Happy Friday!

happy Friday.

warm air. backyard swing. family from Oregon for lucas' birthday tomorrow. fresh, yummy watermelon and a date night tonight. it is a happy Friday.


so much so, that here is a little 'happy Friday song'

 pushing brother in the car,

 and all around the backyard.

so.much.fun.

reflecting and feeling so much gratitude for my sweet boys. especially thinking back to a year ago and the feelings I felt as I had my last day as a mama of one and the hours spent laboring and then those first moments I held Lucas in my arms. How natural it was to become and be a mama of two. Oh how blessed I feel to watch and see the bond these two have shared, right from the start.

Ready to celebrate this sweet boy of mine on his very first birthday tomorrow with family!

 

Happy Friday everyone. Hope it's a good one.

 

rocking their cute, homemade monkey pjs from grandma.

4 years.

It has been four wonderful years! Happy Anniversary to my sweet husband. I couldn't have picked a better man to share in this journey with . You are the most amazing father to our children and the most devoted husband to me. I am blessed to be yours. I am thankful for the four years we have shared as husband and wife and excited to have many more. Always and forever yours.

casa de fruta

 

casa de fruta playgroup.

 swings. carousal watching. train ride. duck and peacocks to see. turtles and fish in the water. it was an exciting morning. if you throw in a nice melt down on the way home, i'd say we had ourselves quite an adventure. i forgot to take pictures of the 'gold mining' gem finding we did.

 swings and train ride.

 duck and turtle watching.

 

 we are slowly doing toilet 'training' Caleb goes every night before bath and now he goes every morning when he puts on his clothes for the day...i'm trying to let it be natural and 'child lead' more than just a constant every moment of the day training thing (but i'm wondering if I should dedicate more time to it?.)...i like what this article has to say about it (learning to use the toilet).
what worked for you? we have done underwear the past two days but caleb only wants to wear them in the morning time...I'm wondering if we should just spend a long weekend being really consistent? hm...never really thought too much on this particular topic....plus adding a crawling child to the equation has been interesting...i've resorted to putting lucas in the bathtub while caleb goes (although he goes by himself most the time, but i like to be in there sometimes to make sure everything stays in one place...if ya know what i mean!) so many people keep asking if he is 'potty trained' i would rather go on his readiness and i do not want to feel the pressure to have him 'toilet trained by a certain age' but i'm also wondering if maybe we should get 'serious' about it and dedicate more time to the matter now? i feel as though i've been really relaxed about the whole thing but am wondering if I have been too relaxed? each child is different and will go in their own time. I am going to keep going with his feelings of readiness and I know slow and steady is just fine.

thomas train unds and playing with the nativity in august. cause we're cool like that!

happy half way wednesday! the next few days have lots of fun in store! visitors. anniversary. birthday. we have lots of celebrating to do :)

never alone

i just love this song! the words are beautiful :) so i put some pics to it.

a crib gathering, book reading, french toast inspiring day.

lucas woke up from his nap, caleb heard him and dashed to greet him....this is what i found when i came in the room....and then both boys standing up smiling at me. love them.

 

caleb reading lady bug's lesson

caleb loves reading, especially certain books....so as you can imagine we've read several of them...hundreds of times....this means he has most of them memorized....here is a lil clip of that (I didn't catch him at the beginning but he always makes sure he 'starts at the beginning with the title' which i think is just so cute. he also says blue for each animal and then changes it up to the correct color at the end of each page...i just love watching his love of books continue to grow!)...

some of his favorite books include: eric carle's the very busy spider, mr. seahorse, brown bear. brown bear what do you see?, polar bear, polar bear what do you see?, panda bear, panda bear what do you see?; some others include a collection of animal books, butterfly's bath, ladybug's lesson, frog's friends (i am amazed at how much he remembers from what we read together), and now he really enjoys saying his prayers....he has most of hail mary, our father, and glory be memorized. it is the sweetest thing to hear him pray! and sing alleluia most of the day. i am loving this age right now. he's so verbal and just spouts out the most hilarious things!

{via image}

doesn't this baked french toast look delish? pioneer woman is to thank. This is my birthday breakfast inspiration for Lucas on saturday...along with some yum cupcakes for his birthday dessert and some bbq. I've been craving this french toast since I saw the picture last week! Now I have a great excuse to make it :)

Happy Tuesday!

pictures and a letter.

my sister so kindly let me use her camera to snap a few pictures of the boys this weekend. I wanted some moments captured as Lucas turned one. I can't believe how fast this year has gone. Gosh I love them. And I love their daddy. So please excuse my sappy moment at the end.

to my sweet boys. I hope you'll always know and feel our love. Each day and each moment, you both bring so much joy and laughter and love in our lives. I hope you'll always care for one another, protect each other, and be the very best of friends; just as you care for and love one another now. Your brother bond will continue to grow and I pray we can nurture it. Your daddy and I love you more than words can say.

Love,

 Mama