one for the memory books.

Good memories wash over me in a warm embrace. Sometimes while we are in the midst of creating one I stop and reflect, I know years from now these are the type of moments I'll draw on and remember as sweet times when the boys are little; the work involved in making it happen, the packing and preparing, the shelping...how it's all worth it. Every second just to hear the excitement on Caleb's face in the car as we head out, his chit chat in the back seat about where we're going and what we're doing. Lucas' happy sway as he walks, his babbles and sing song voice. D and I at the end of the day after babies have been tucked in and are sleeping soundly. Pillow talk, how we say "today was a good day, a perfect day. I'm glad we made it happen" And I smile knowing we are carrying on old traditions mixed with new, re-creating our childhood memories and giving new ones to the boys. Passing down traditions and knowing that the boys too will grow up with a sweet, sweet childhood. Just as our parents did for us in making it happen, we too will do for the boys. Late last night as we drove under a full moon and a dark sky I remembered many car rides tucked beneath the same moon as a little girl, feeling safe in the seat between my sisters in the backseat and the quiet hum of my parents' voices in the front. My prayer is that the boys will look back one day on car rides and camping trips, hiking adventures and beach days, baking in the kitchen and backyard exploring, and remember the sweetness that is childhood. I feel so blessed to be in the midst of creating our family memories.


from our weekend...

On Saturday we went hiking near Santa Cruz  ( (Pescadero, Sam McDonald Park); the drive along the coast was just gorgeous and hiking deep in the redwoods was so peaceful and breathtakingly beautiful (I've missed our hiking-felt nice to be back)

This morning we went strawberry picking  at Gizdich Ranch after church. The boys helped pick strawberries and Olallieberries.  No words to describe how simply scrumptious they tasted!!

On our way to our hiking spot Saturday, we stopped at a goat farm. The boys loved seeing the baby goats and trying out some of their tasty jam and cheeses they had on the farm.

                                                                              Goat Farm

 

 

 Hiking

 Caleb was so excited to Hike. It was pretty sweet. He ended up walking for a lot of the hike which was nice because D put Lucas on his back and Caleb and I just held hands and walked along slow and steady :)

banana slug!

 

Berry picking

 Lucas kept sneaking in samples of the berries (he managed to sample a lot of dirt too)

 (caleb was such a helper picking all the berries. He was really into it this year)

 

a few other pics from my phone and a couple videos..

Saturday morning

 headed on our adventure

 hiking

playtime

 goat farm

 

 

berry picking

 

This weekend was the perfect way to welcome summer.

hope your weekend was full of good fun too.

happy friday!

dancing video (you can click on that link to see the boys having a dance party)

so, so, happy today.

sometimes it takes a really hard day, or hard afternoon, to put things into perspective. Sometimes it is that little voice at the end of the day that says "you'll try again tomorrow" sometimes it takes feeling defeat and discouragement to force you to turn it into something positive; to find joy and to have fun. sometimes it takes learning from your mistakes; (from not being as patient as I should and would like to be...to remind me to pray and ask for strength and for patience). The Holy Spirit really does give us  Grace and Patience when we seek Him for it.  

 

I love our Fridays. We're home and we're happy. Our mornings are slow. We do our 'letters' (songs, stories, and word play) we play barefoot in the backyard. We take walks and see construction sites and working crews (big excitement for little boys) we take naps and then play some more and then the weekend is upon us as we wait for dad to join us.

 

I love spending my days with these two little boys of mine.

 

some moments...

caleb "hey mom...car. C A R. 'c' 'c' 'c' (sounding out c sound) I spelled car. me "oh wow you did spell car, who taught you that?" right now, caleb's super fascinated with letters and their sounds and words and making every letter sound and then saying what letter the word starts with and then trying to write it.  This is such a fun age!

 

lucas is obsessed with trains (this is not an understatement) he loves putting trains together and pushing them around and making their sounds. He stays busy with this activity for a long time! I love watching him play. Trucks and cars and construction vehicles are also high on his interest list. I'm pretty sure his first word that was super clear was dump truck. He's saying so many words and babbles out convo with us so much now. Another really fun age!

 

Despite the torrent of fights that have been happening a lot (hitting and biting included, sadly) and the frustration that comes along with all that (we are always working on using our words and taking turns) I still try and focus more on their best buddy moments instead of the frustrating fighting moments; I just adore the way the boys take care of and love on each other. Lucas wants to do everything caleb does (including wearing his underwear) So while at old navy yesterday getting them some summer clothes; caleb wanted a green outfit and lucas came over and wanted to choose one too, he chose orange, then caleb puts on a red hat and lucas insists on putting on a red hat too. I'm constantly laughing (or deep breathing) as they go from best buddies to enemies in a matter of minutes. When they are best buddies it is so fun to watch. They really do have so much fun together. Each day I'm ever so thankful for them and what they have in each other. They will always have one another and for that I feel so blessed.

 

and then...

Monterey

 

 this weekend we took the boys to the beach for Father's day. It was nice just being together away from the house for the day. Our life has felt out of sorts and crazy lately. Things have been harder than usual with our sweet firstborn. sleep (or lack there of) self regulation (lack of again) and melt downs (plenty of them) have worn d and I down. My heart hurts and aches for my firstborn; I wish life wasn't so hard for him, I wish I could help him more. I sometimes wonder why he has to go through this and why do we? Sometimes I feel like I'm not cut out to be a good enough mom for him, but where does that get us? No where. God obviously knows what he is doing, even if I feel like we do not. God gifted us with him and only because of Caleb's trials have I been able to see the world in a different way, a better way. Yes things are hard and a lot of times I get discouraged when things aren't going well with him but I know that God knows what he is doing and I can't even imagine a sweeter big brother for lucas. He may have to try harder to do things others do without thinking, but goodness, has he taught me ever so much. I've learned joy in the most incredible way with him and an appreciation for the little things in life, the moments that truly matter. I've learned what it means to go beyond what you think you are capable of. He's a rock star and he's got Lucas, our happy, singing, joy bird right beside him, easing the way and the two of them make us so proud. We're in yet another season of change with some strong winds and currents washing us around, but where would the rainbow be without the storm? with that said...here's our little rainbow.

                                                                  The secret's out.

 

 baby #3 due January 26th. I'm eight weeks and just had my first ultrasound yesterday. The baby is measuring 9weeks1day (both the boys always measured about 1-2 weeks ahead) we found out at 3 weeks (and we couldn't be happier)

found the sweetest little bookstore with a kids corner down the street from C's Ot. It made my day. (and lucas' too.)

So, the boys are pretty excited. Caleb really wants a baby brother (we ask him if he thinks he's getting a baby brother or a baby sister) and Lucas keeps saying Baby and both boys seem to think the baby resides in my stomach as well as their stomach. (lucas copies caleb's every movement) so it's cute and kind of weird and i'm not sure if I want to burst caleb's bubble and let him in on a little secret that only Girls can have babies in their tummies. (I did tell him once and he didn't take it well) And for as much as I do love being pregnant and nursing, I will admit I have told Dave more than a few times how much I wish he could carry this babe. (the head over the toilet bowl and stomach issues from the meds have gotten old quickly; started by week 4...I'm praying it won't go till week 20 as it did for both boys) yet, kisses on my belly from the boys for the baby are pretty sweet (almost sweet enough to make me forget how truly awful I feel every day right now) morning sickness (all day/ all night sickness actually) is not fun!

. Mostly, the past couple weeks have us worn out (being sick and having plenty of we're a hot mess moments, but I know this too shall pass and I am trying to find joy in the little moments (away from the bathroom with my head in the toilet bowl, with an audience of two)

moments that linger

playing at the park.

 

I'm loving this song right now! Gone Gone Gone by Phillip Phillips.  

It reminds me of my sister and her boy who is her best friend. They have been friends since high school and started dating in college. Through life's ups and downs they have always been there for each other.

**wanted to say thank you all for your prayers!! we finally have answers and a correct diagnosis for my sweet person I've been asking prayers for. While the road to recovery will take months even years, she finally has peace knowing she is in the right hands with the right dr. and will hopefully begin feeling better soon.

I don't have much to update on. We've just been enjoying the warm weather. Lately, I've been just thinking about being a Mama. How hard it has been the past couple weeks, mostly because I haven't been feeling great and have had to really let go of things and be accepting of help. Dave is doing mostly everything when he comes home and I have to let go of that guilt too. I'm so thankful for him though. I know this hard phase we are in right now will pass and until then I'm holding on to the sweet moments with my boys. Brother hand holds. Laughter. Cuddles. Stories. Playing at the park. Smiles and Hugs that linger.

Happy Friday!

outside. barefoot in chalk. freshly picked flowers. sunshine and smiles. I love our Fridays.  

holding on and staying strong. a holy experience.   (click on the link to read) Some beautiful words found their way into my heart this morning as I read this story on a blog I love (a holy experience)

The timing of reading those words...couldn't have been more perfect...as I hold someone very near and dear to my heart in prayer today. This sweet girl has experienced a year of some serious health issues, several Doctors have given her different diagnosis's (many wrong ones) and different treatments; none which have worked. This afternoon she is seeing a top Doctor. in San Diego. We're all praying that she'll finally have a correct diagnosis and treatment plan. (prayers of wisdom for the doctors and strength for her heart on this journey). While it would be so easy for her to get discouraged and feel hopeless after what she has endured for the past year, she has not. She has such a strong spirit, an incredibly high pain tolerance (she never complains) and a positive attitude. She's young and has life stretched out before her. And while I know right now with all her heart she wishes her money was being spent on a wedding dress and a honeymoon was being planned instead of medical bills and countless trips to different specialists. She remains hopeful and keeps her chin up. Smiling day after day. I love her and look up to her so much. She is the bravest girl I know and I'm amazed and blessed by her daily. So, if you have a moment to pray for her today that would mean so much me. thank you.



Have a beautiful Friday.

just for fun (click on this link for a cute video)...Lennon and Maisy Stella  (real life sisters who play Rayna James' daughters in the show Nashville) We love watching Nashville and I think these girls have such great voices! They are adorable too :) they have more videos on utube if you google them. *who knows maybe one day the boys will be singing their own songs together on stage. :) jk. (they already love to sing so much with each other :) yay for sisters and brothers <3>

He is with us.

 today we played at our favorite park. it is a nestled and hidden gem. it smells of sweet fresh earthly scents. it reminds me of camping each time we go.

this song below came on while we were driving home. the boys were dancing/heads shaking to the beat/ in the backseat. I was smiling in the front. (we've been having some sweet car moments lately) It's a good reminder that no matter how hard things may seem at the time He Is With Us. "We might be hurting but we won't be ruined. He's holding on to you and me. "

~He Is With Us~ by Love and The Outcome...video here

Remember when your hope is lost and faith is shaken
Remember when you wonder if you’re gonna make it
There’s a hand stretched out through your deepest doubt
We can’t pretend to see the ending or what’s coming up ahead
To know the story of tomorrow
But we can stay close to the One who knows
We can trust our God
He knows what He’s doing
Though it might hurt now
We won’t be ruined
It might seem there’s an ocean in between
But He’s holding on to you and me
And He’s never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always
We believe there is purpose, there is meaning in everything
We surrender to His leading
He wants nothing more than to have us close
We can trust our God
He knows what He’s doing
Though it might hurt now
We won’t be ruined
It might seem there’s an ocean in between
But He’s holding on to you and me
And He’s never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always
Our faith is sealed
Our hope is real
Come what may
We’re not afraid
Our faith is sealed
Our hope is real
Come what may
We’re not afraid
We’re not afraid
We can trust our God
Always, always
We can trust our God
Always, always
We can trust our God
He knows what He’s doing
Though it might hurt now
We won’t be ruined
It might seem there’s an ocean in between
But He’s holding on to you and me
And He’s never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always
Our God is with us

I needed to hear these words today.

Hope your Wednesday is blessed.

happily hanging.

poolside

garden tenders (don't they look like lil ol' men here, tending to their garden?)

you can't tell in the picture but they are perched above the garden and I don't know who thought to bring the Thomas chairs over...lucas or caleb. it's so funny because they go over and sit there all the time to watch the plants!)

 

protector

 

Just a few pictures to share and a quote from a movie I love! (hope floats)

 

what i'm loving right now... 

I love how when I say "hold your brother's hand" both boys immediately look for and grab each others' hands.

I love how they reach out to touch the other one's hair or give a kiss when the other one is sad, how Caleb naturally puts a hand on Lucas to protect him when he gets nervous about something lucas is doing

I love how lucas is majorly into imitating everyone; this includes the singer at church who was raising her hands up during the songs to lead the congregation (lucas watched and imitated all through mass raising his arm up a down)

I love how the boys play together so well (when they aren't fighting that is)

I love that it's a new season of the bachelorette! Des was my favorite from Sean's season :)

 I love Tuesdays because it's bible study night

I love how sometimes when everything seems wrong and falling apart, the good little moments mixed up in our day make everything seem just right.

 

Happy Tuesday.