At mass on Saturday evening, Caleb was particularly wiggly. But also really into the mass. He was singing (not always at the right parts, and a little loudly and the words were his own, but I'm sure you can imagine) We were trying to help him singing quietly, but you know how that goes with a two year old. He was also responding. He was saying "thanks be to God" and picking up on other things we recite in mass. What joy it brought my heart to hear my two year old son taking joy in the mass and becoming an active participant! Lucas has also been finding his voice. Squeals and shrieks are becoming common these days, much to our delight. And Lucas took the quiet moments of church to find his voice. As sweet and happy as both boys were at this particular mass, they were also a little loud, well at least the lady in front of us thought so, unfortunately. I began to notice some glares (she was seated in front of us and would turn around and glare at Caleb and ended up scooting as far forward as she could on the skinny bench seat) After several glares and one particularly loud sing song sesh from Caleb (where I quickly moved him to the back till he quieted his voice) I decided to whisper to Dave to move. Finding the right time to uplift the four of us from our spot ended up not happening (another unfortunate event) and so basically we moved as far down in the row as we could and seated Caleb on the other side of Dave to help the poor lady in front calm down. (Her whole body was rigid at this point). Church ended with Caleb happily 'trying' to read out of the church hymnal, and the lady leaving, but not without a comment. She turned around and informed us that there is a crying room. I smiled kindly and thanked her. I left feeling a little disheartened. I felt upset with myself for not just leaving and finding another spot. Because while Caleb wasn't quiet, he also wasn't really loud either. And we were quietly helping him keep his body calm. I left also feeling sorry for her that unlike the sweet and friendly people behind us who smiled and shook Caleb's eager and outreaching hand during the peace be with you, she could not see the simple sweetness in two innocent children who were simply singing happy sounds in God's home. I felt like my worst fears came true in church. Someone being disrupted by my children. And no matter how hard we try to help Caleb stay still and calm (going to the back of church when necessary) there are still people who believe children should be in a closed room away from the community. I feel disappointed that I can't freely enjoy mass because I do worry about other people and what they think and that this incident brought to life my real fears. I have learned a lesson from all this. First of all, sit by other families with children. And secondly, listen to my gut, and move if I think someone is being bothered by the boys. I left church with a prayer for the woman, and a prayer for myself as well. I am thankful for my weekly bible study, because it is a place where I can relax and truly enjoy fellowship and time with God's Word. And I pray I can find some sort of that in church once again.
when she said there was a cry room, you could have said "yes, but he isn't crying . he is singing and praising God." She could have moved too. you did ok, trying to move down the bench. as long as Father didn't glare at you and be distracted, don't worry. God welcomes the littlest worshipers.
ReplyDeleteWe always sat in the very back of church for the same reason. We also rarely used the crying room -- we didn't feel it helped teach the children to be quiet because none of the parents were trying to control their children at all. Plus it smelled! So we did the same as you -- taking the noisy one outside for a bit to get the wriggles out and just a lot of shushing. We were lucky that the people right behind us were sweet grandparents and made us feel OK. You're doing fine, be patient with yourself and your little family.
ReplyDeleteThank you Grandma Linda. Very well said!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I enjoy seeing little children like Caleb and Lucas at Mass. If they do something especially cute or sweet, we sometimes give them nicknames (like Monkey Box, Boots, Daisy, Rainbow, Echo) and make up little stories about their adventures. I told Derrick this story, and he said he would have named Caleb "Living Creature," like the ones that praise God in the book of Revelation
ReplyDeleteI, myself, have been on the receiving end of comments such as these in several circumstances. The unfortunate thing is that all the other people who admired your good parenting for calmly encouraging Caleb to participate, for encouraging the development of his faith and for believing in him - did not make a comment. We may lose a little focus during mass but I think we gain a beautiful opportunity to share our faith. We are so fortunate.
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