going the extra mile

 on specialness and special needs.

today i want to talk about my sweet firstborn.

first off, these are two blogs near and dear to my heart. (if you have time, go ahead and read their posts)
peace it all together and enjoying the small things both these mamas have special needs kiddos (one with SPD and one with DS). these two posts I read yesterday made me cry (linked above). These mamas are spreading awareness and asking for acceptance for their children. They ask that when others look at their child they accept their differences and love them for those differences; that we might embrace those differences. I think every mother wants that for their child, even more so when you have one with special needs. We want others to love them for who they are, to believe in them, to fight for them, to accept them, and to encourage, to believe in them, and to have faith. I pray that those who come into Caleb's life will believe in him and see him for the sweet boy that he is. We have already been blessed with his wonderful OT, miss A. We are his advocates. My prayer for D and I is that we will always stand up and educate others about his differences so that they might understand and celebrate with us his strengths and specialness. I pray that people will come into his life who will have the kind of faith we have in him, especially his teachers. I know a lot of good teachers out there, ones who wrap up little ones with love and encouragement, ones that push and challenge in just the right ways, my mom and D's mom being two of them. I hope Caleb will have that kind of teacher. We have and we will continue to move mountains to help Caleb so that he will succeed. We want him to know just how loved he is and that he can do all things through Him who gives strength.

for more on Sensory Processing disorder check out a sensory life this is a great and helpful website.

the reason I felt the urge to write about SPD today is because there have been two different instances where i have been asked if sensory means C has autism. The answer is no. He does not.
While children with autism and ADHD have sensory struggles as well, C's sensory difficulties are a stand alone diagnosis for him. He struggles with self regulation (his ability to regulate moods, deal with transitions, focus and attend; when he is self regulated he is able to do those things, if he is not regulated he goes into fight or flight mode). OT addresses his difficulties with...  the power sensations akaVestibular (his inner ear equilibrium) and Proprioceptive (where his body is in space) meaning how comfortable he feels running, jumping, swinging, climbing, etc. Gross motor and Fine motor activities are more difficult for him because his body isn't receiving the correct messages to the brain.  OT helps re-wire these pathways so that he will feel more comfortable jumping, running, cutting, coloring, etc (as we've already seen in the 4 months he's been in OT; our friend's little girl no longer melts down and her proprioceptive difficulties are almost gone; she's made great progress in the year she's been doing OT with the same OT as C). When he doesn't look us in the eye it means he is having a hard time regulating his body, when he is tentative in climbing down steps or won't jump off a curb it is because his body isn't getting the correct signal about where it is and how far to jump. Deep pressure helps calm him down. Swinging helps his vestibular system get back on track. Running and sit ups help build his core strength so that he can attend and sit for longer periods with one activity. I hope this helps you understand a little bit more about sensory processing disorder. There are great books out there. My favorite being...raising a sensory smart child and understanding your child's sensory signals.

So the next time you see a child having a major melt down in the grocery store, don't roll your eyes, consider that maybe that little boy or girl is overloaded with sensory stimuli and is unable to regulate. Offer a smile instead. The next time you see a little boy biting another little girl, consider that maybe he is autistic and might be taking medicine to help his aggression, as well as getting OT and speech therapy. Maybe you'll think twice about looking away when an adult with down syndrome tries to hug your child, instead you'll let them and come away with more love and acceptance. Let's celebrate our children and their differences. After all, it would be a pretty boring world if we were all the same.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

I believe from the bottom of my heart that Caleb is going to do great things, he already has. He has opened up our hearts to love deeper and more fully than I could ever have imagined. He's taught to look deeper, to ask harder, and to believe greater. He's taught us what faith really means. He is one of our greatest gifts. He loves to sing and dance, he is inquistive and empathetic. He has such a love of stories and books. He loves Lucas with the most beautiful brotherly love I have ever seen. You continue to amaze us everyday Caleb with your tender spirit and compassionate heart. We love you always and we'll never stop believing in you!

and because this boy loves his singing and dancing, here's a little video clip of him doing just that!!

*post edit.
last night i was angry and sad. caleb had an upseting 1hr go down for bed. lucas has been sick for three weeks (turns out sinus infection) i was exhausted and upset that things never go the way i plan! everything felt out of control. i missed my carefree college days. sometimes life before children seems as though it was blissfully carefree. i was better today. it was a good day with the boys. caleb had a couple hard moments (2 melt downs lasting a good half hour each) but we got through his home program and he was happy as can be the entire day (besides those two melt downs) he even went down good for nap and bed!!) all this to say that I still had a good cry as I read this post from another sensory blog I enjoy reading. our out of sync life sometimes i feel like this. i feel angry and i am upset that things are out of my control. i wish God would go a lil easier on me :) But then I remember that there is beauty in the struggle! And I wouldn't trade the past three years for the world, they have been hard and challenging, I've grown a lot! But it has been worth every minute!! And I really adore the Welcome to Holland poem posted at the end :) ( part 2 found here )

So thanks for listening to me today :) I had a lot on my mind!