words between

some moments i wanted to remember from this morning. gosh i love my sweet boys to pieces.
 i read caleb and lucas their nap time stories and then we moved onto the next part of our 'nap time routine' caleb was started saying his prayers and lucas was busy as usual. caleb told me 'prayer hands mama' and then reprimanded lucas for making too much noise while he was praying 'lukie be quiet.' then caleb went through his 'i love yous' where he named all those he loves. I like to think he's blessing each one as he says their name. 'i love nani and poppy. i love grandma and grandpa, mary and craig, uncle andrew, katie, jenny, laura, cousin angela, lisha, joey, abu, dominic and sophia, johnny and chrissy, etc....." then he says 'i love lucas' "lucas you love me too?? yeah he does mama, cause you're my brother lukie. love you to the whole wide world luke!!" melt my heart one hundred times over. gosh he's the sweetest with his baby brother.

let me give you a little picture of their personalities. at potluck preschool today caleb nervously stood in the safety of my leg most of the time and the comfort of my lap. lucas sprawled himself in the middle of the circle on the carpet floor and smiled at everyone around the circle. caleb watched protectively and made sure lucas didn't go too far from us. he'd pull him back quietly and say 'no lucas come here' and then lucas would giggle and smile up at caleb as they plopped themselves side by side. we rode home, them in the trailer, me pulling on my bike. i'd keep stealing glances back at the two of them. caleb reading a book, lucas his head perched over caleb's shoulder watching and listening to his big brother. both of them helmets side by sides heads down engrossed in pictures and story.

the morning started shaky. my sweet sister endured a nice sob from my end of the phone as i spilled some sadness i was holding onto about the hard days we've been having this week. i asked dave to pray for us at work. that i would be patient for caleb and that he'd have an okay day. and you know what? we did. i sat in the swing doing my bible study outside while caleb played and lucas napped. and while caleb's mood was good for the morning...and can always change post nap...it's okay. each days starts anew. each moment. it felt good to release a little cry, wipe my tears, laugh on the phone with jenny because she 'gets it' and she 'gets him' and it's gonna be all right ;) i'm so thankful that i'm home with them. i love the moments we share together and i'll treasure them always. i know these harder days are so small in the scheme of things. it is easy to get caught up in them and forget the big picture. there is so much suffering and pain in the world. but there is a lot of goodness too.

i write these moments down...and many moments from our days together so that i can remember. i want to remember all the little moments that cause me to pause, take out my imaginary memory bottle, and capture it...that way i'll look back years from now with snapshots engraved forever in my heart of these sweet boys and the many beautiful moments they've created with each other. oh how i love them so.